10 Things We Wish Parents Were Doing
1. Pointing out NICHE Characteristics
2. Talk about your NICHE Alignment
3. Talk about your NICHE Misalignment
4. Share Job Description
5. Share Resume
6. Bring on College Visits
7. Discuss College Plans and Be Honest
8. Connect your students with your Relatives and Close Friends for Informational Interviewing
9. Don’t expect them to pick one path for their entire career
10. Connect the world around you to changing industries, roles, and skill sets
Having met with thousands of college students to help them explore career options or pivot from one path to another, we naturally compiled a list that consistently rang true. Parents could take several small actions to prevent these crisis points.
1. Pointing out NICHE Characteristics
So many of the students we’ve counseled and taught seem to have limited experiences where their loved ones pointed out their natural talents, interests, characteristics, heart, or environment. This can begin as early as preschool and mature and fill in with more specifics one’s life.
A few examples:
· “Lucy, it seems like you’re choosing several creative outlets lately. You seem to be interested in ways to visually communicate. You’re learning InDesign and enjoying set design for the school production.”
· “Scott, your ability to take complex information and explain it plainly and in manageable steps is incredible. I work with seasoned professionals who can’t do that as well as you naturally do.”
· “Hanna, the energy you bring to planning and getting everyone in the family involved and excited is such a gift. You have a way of helping people buy in and get enthused and invested. We’re so glad you’re part of this family.”
· “Maya, you seem to light up when we are in big cities, and you begin to picture yourself living in one. Having grown up in a suburb, does a big city sound like a better fit for you?”
· “Caleb, you’ve gravitated toward activities that impact the environment since you were in elementary school on the green team. You care a lot about sustainability and that seems important to you.”
2. Talk about your NICHE Alignment
We developed NICHE Mindset as a framework for organizing thoughts and information. If you use it to frame your own experience, you’ll help your students see how the five facets connect.
An example: (sitting at dinner on a family trip)
“We are so fortunate to have the time to talk together and enjoy this place and each other. I wouldn’t have guessed this would be my life 10 years ago. Even though I have always knack for numbers and data, I did not anticipate going into network security. It was my interest in a college hackathon that changed the direction of my career choices. Over my professional years, I have grown my ability to present information and lead workshops. I have a passion for helping others understand and apply trends interestingly. Work and life balance was always a factor that guided my promotion and job change decisions. I can’t wait to see how your path unfolds unexpectedly.”
3. Talk about your NICHE Misalignment
Our students have had such shallow exposure to the world of work. They know very little about their family members’ career decisions. Talking about when you were not a good fit or the impetus for a change is just as valuable as discussing when you’ve been a great match.
An example: (when discussing weighing options and the ability to change course)
“You know, I had a role where I was not a good fit. I knew by lunchtime on my first day it was not a long-term fit. I was required to memorize a lot of detailed information that changed weekly. My clients relied on my being able to access that information to advise them on big life choices. It felt like a lot of pressure to me.
I realized that my anxiety and propensity to see the bigger picture instead of retaining more minor details was not the best match. I knew I needed the experience for my next career move, so I found a system that worked for me and focused on using it as a stepping stone. I applied for a different role that was more creative and up my alley.”
4. Share your Job Description and Career Exploration Journey
Did your parents share their job descriptions with you? Probably not. Just think of how those little details might have helped you understand them better, what they did, and their little gripes and stories. We cannot tell you how frequently students need a way to think about the skills, qualifications, and experiences required for different roles or occupations. The snippets they get from shows, movies, conversations, and social media need to add up to paint a complete picture. Oftentimes, this leads them to seek something imaginary. They are looking for a 100% match or satisfaction level. Ha. We know better.
I have told many students if they like 40-60% of what they’re doing during a full-time, professional role, that is probably a great match! Doctors often don’t like charting, graphic designers might dislike the client pitching component, teachers would not rank IEP meetings as their favorite part, and truck drivers loathe traffic. Let’s help these students get a better glimpse of reality. Share your job description with them!
5. Share your Resume
You have a resume or LinkedIn profile somewhere, even if you have not used it lately. No problem, it doesn’t have to be perfect or current! Share this with your student, so they can see the common components of a snapshot in someone’s career life. They don’t think in terms of education, work experience, success, leadership, and committee work, yet. By seeing your resume, they will have a relatable place to start visualizing how these come together. They know some of the basics of your life like where you went to school or received credentialing. Help them fill in the rest by sharing your resume.
6. Bring on College Visits
Does your sibling’s family live in a different city? Are you taking a spring break or fall break trip? Could you make a couple-hour stop on your way for a visit?
Students need to see colleges, even if they are not a good fit. When we talk to students and ask them why they chose they school they’re enrolled in, they often stare at us blankly. Oftentimes, they had no exposure to different options, or they just knew what they did not like. Even if your student is set on a specific school, seeing other campuses and school sizes and cultures will help them know why their choice is a good fit. They will also relate to their future friends and colleagues who attended different schools.
Your student will come away with insight like:
· “I realize that _____ is a nice school, but the size and way it is spread out overwhelms me. I am glad I chose _______.”
· “________ is an interesting school, but it feels a lot like high school to me, and I am looking for something different. A new challenge and opportunity to grow is what I am after.”
· “Seeing _______ helped me see how different schools focus on different things. Even though their classes are smaller and I would know faculty better, the fact that 50% of the campus is part of a sorority or fraternity just is not for me.”
· “I always knew I would go to ______________, but it was not until this visit that I started considering the Co-op program.”
7. Discuss College Plans and Be Honest
The way we guide high school students through twelfth grade and then expect them to know who they are and make subsequent plans about their lives immediately after graduation is not harmonious. We can’t solve that conundrum, but we can explain the impact can have on students if you are not open and honest from the beginning.
Students deserve to know the resources they will be given or expected to secure to attend college. This means how much money will be shared or taken out in someone else’s name. Providing context to this conversation is also essential because a teenager has never made a financial decision that impacts the next decade or more of their paycheck if they have loans to repay.
If you expect your child to live at home or contribute to the family income, that is something they deserve to hear explicitly from you, too. This will impact their credit hour load and ability to absorb a course and make grades worth pursuing.
Changing course will be much more challenging when your student has a false sense of reality.
8. Connect your students
High school students need to talk to professionals. Your extended family, friends, and colleagues are the best place to start. Just like it is helpful for them to know about your job description and resume, they will learn much more if they get the same from others.
Tell your students what their aunt does and how her career has changed. When they show an interest in a field, connect the dots that your family friends’ dad has had three different roles.
9. Don’t expect them only to have one plan
Your student will not have one role at one organization for their entire professional life. Industries, functions, required skills, and more are changing exponentially faster. We are not helping them find the “one best match.” This career exploration and development journey is not a treasure hunt. Instead, we’re teaching them how to consistently self-assess, apply a framework to the world around them, and more efficiently and thoroughly make decisions and plans.
When your student knows their NICHE facets pretty well and they uncover new details about their interests or values, for example, they will adapt to new opportunities. Imagine being a middle-aged Networking Security professional at a national conference today. Not one attending or presenting had heard that term when they went to college. They all had to navigate and adapt to get to where they are in their role and field.
10. Connect the world to changes
When our world dropped the more stringent COVID-19 safety measures in place, we were able to see new trends emerging. Workplace flexibility increased, online education and credentialing options sped up, paper signatures were replaced by e-signing alternatives, and required in-person travel required further justification. How might this impact majors and programs?
Adding a layer of new accessibility to AI, for example, how might this change these careers?
· Actuarial Science
· Journalism
· Editing
· Computer Science
· Coding
There is no perfect way to help your students with career exploration or self-assessment. We encourage you to take one or two of our ideas and make a point to provide some NICHE reflection with your students this week. Every little touchpoint will add up, we know!
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